First post! Ahh!!
It’s a few days after my birthday & I thought it was a perfect time to start what I’ve always wanted to talk about!
I hate my birthday but love it at the same time… my birthday makes me feel like I’m completely on my own but at the same time makes me realise how many people do in fact care.
Before realising I had trouble with my mental health I thought everyone didn’t cope with their birthday well. My coping mechanisms just aren’t cut for celebrations unfortunately.
I can’t help but feel a sudden feeling of embarrassment of people buying gifts, taking time out of their lives to take a moment to think of me and then that triggers the overthinking – are they just buying a gift or saying happy birthday for the sake of it? Do they care? Am I being selfish for wanting to celebrate my birthday?
& then there is the other side and unfortunately this is the selfish part. As much as I hate my birthday I still expect people to say happy birthday and when they don’t, it’s a sudden feeling of doom – why haven’t they? Do they NOT care? Have I done something which makes them not want to which is sadly probably the case.
So here is to chapter 24 and trying to overcome my struggles even more than I have and to talking about the struggles I’ve overcome but some yet to